The Strength To Go On
by emoyaoi69
Summary: Something very tragic happens in Izumi's life.. And Reiji is the one who is picking up the pieces.. How will Izumi cope? How will Reiji cope? Very sad! Does contain spoilers if you have not read the books..
1. Matsugo no mizu

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my cruel imagination *cries* *Imagination laughs* I don't own the title either, Rise Against do. I also don't own the Poem I will be using- Thank you, Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894).

Inspiration: I got tickets to see Miyavi on his What's My Name Tour in March.  
Music: Miyavi – What's My Name (Album)

Izumi breathed out heavily as he rolled off of Takamiya and onto the dishevelled bed. "Hehe" Izumi _gigged _as Takamiya was placing butterfly kisses on his toned stomach.

Takamiya soon stopped, got comfortable in their _sturdy_ bed, and pulled his young lover into his arms. "I have to go to Fukushima tomorrow. A young English couple were planning on raising their daughter in Fukushima, but their Japanese is still quite rusty, so they asked if I could go and translate for them. I'll be back in time for a late dinner." He smiled and pulled Izumi as close as he could, "And my even later dessert."

* * *

Being as quiet as he could; Takamiya turned Izumi's head, gently stirring him awake, "I'll see you later, Izumi."

"Mmm..." _'Smells nice...' _Izumi thought. "Love you, Ta..." Izumi whispered, his eyes barely open. Takamiya grinned, kissed the young man's ear and whispered his "Love you, too." and left.

* * *

"Bye." Takamiya said his farewells to the young English couple. Takamiya looked at his expensive watch. 4:37 the hands read.

_'That's good. I'll be back in time for my late dinner, and my sexy dessert.' _He thought, keeping his laughter to himself. Getting into his car, and starting the engine; the two and a half hour drive back to Tokyo didn't seem that long once Takamiya thought about what was awaiting him at home.

* * *

BEEEEEEEP... BEEEEEEEP...

6:57 the hands read. Takamiya sighed, 'I should nearly be home by now...But, no. Just my luck to caught-up in a traffic jam as long as Mount. Fuji.'

An hour had passed until, "Finally." Takamiya said, exasperated.

* * *

The sign Takamiya had just passed said he was in Ibaraki. _'Just another hour... Hehehe...' _He thought to himself, trying to control the excitement welling up in his stomach. _'Maybe I should buy Izumi some Flowers... No, Chocolates... Definitely Chocolates, to make up for me being so late... I shall get them... First thing tomorrow morn-' _Takamiya's eyes widened as a Pick-Up Truck collided into the side of Takamiya's Silver Concept ZT, sending the car and Takamiya tumbling.

Even though Takamiya's seatbelt was on, he was still sent on an unenjoyable ride.

The Orange Pick-Up Truck was still pushing Takaimya's over-turned car in an unknown direction- And at the end of this horrific journey: Was another car.

Nothing was heard. The people just looked on as the Silver car was crushed between the Pick-Up Truck and another car of similar size.

It wasn't much time after, that the Police, two Ambulances and a Fire Engine arrived.

* * *

7.43

The sound of the ringing phone sent a vibration throughout the apartment.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Sakashita Izumi?"

* * *

Thinking about his last ordeal with Trains; Izumi decided against it and call a Cab instead- Cutting off forty minutes to an hour of his journey.

* * *

"Where is he? Where is Takamiya Katsura?" He was frantic. "Please!"

"Mr. Sakashita Izumi?" A man in a White over-coat spoke.

Izumi looked over at the mention of his name.

"Come with me." and so he did, hastily.

The Doctor led Izumi down a long hallway and into the Intensive Care Unit, and into a separate- Takamiya Katsura's room.

The site made Izumi sick- Takamiya was unconscious?... Asleep? Izumi didn't know... But, there were scrapes and cuts on his lover's face, and a few bruises starting to form. Not to mention the clear wire that was taped from his nose, and travelled down to a connected pump. There were bandages wrapped tightly around Takaiya's chest and there were deep bruises on his stomach. Izumi could see, even through the blanket, that Takamiya's right leg was in a cast from his foot up to his knee. Takamiya's hands, though, were not covered by the blanket, they were covered by bandages that reached up to his elbows and the rest of both his arms were covered in scrapes and burn marks. The last thing Izumi marked, was the Oxygen Mask over Takamiya's mouth and nose.

"Ng..." Izumi couldn't get his words out. He was too stunned.

"He had some bleeding on the brain, though we managed to get it under our control. He was sent into surgery as soon as he got here. He was given a Sedative after the surgery. It should have worn off by now. Just, when you approach him, don't apply much pressure. He is very fragile."

When the Doctor closed the door; Izumi rushed over to Takamiya, gently held his burnt hand and began to cry. He must have been crying for ten minutes straight, when he heard-

"Shush, my little Cannonball (1). There's not need for all of that crying." Izumi lifted his head up to the oh-so-familer face, finding his love smiling gently at him, without the Oxygen Mask, and that only made him cry harder.

"Takamiya! I was so scared! I felt so sick! I thought I was going to lose you." Izumi was gently, barely (as so not to hurt him), hugging him. "I love you, Takamiya. And, I'm so sorry for all the shit I've put you through all of these years! You know I love you, right?" Izumi sobbed.

"I know." Takamiya kissed the boy's cheek. "Why don't you get in the bed with me. You must be tired."

Sniffling, Izumi silently climbed very carefully into the small Hospital bed and laid down next to the man, who he had been with for ten strong years.

"I love you, Katsura." Izumi whispered, kissing Takamiya's lips.

"I love you too, Izumi. I really do." He said with a sad smile, and rested his head next to Izumi's.

* * *

Beep beep beep beep beep beep

Izumi's eyes widened. The sound of the Life Support Machine going off sent chills down his Spine. He was in such a daze because of the consent beeping, that he didn't realise that the room was now filled with Doctors. He also didn't realise that a Nurse had coaxed him out- Until he was already out.

"Takamiya!" He was trying to push his way back into the room. But, as he was doing so, the Doctors had placed Takamiya on a Stretcher and rushed him out of the room, and down the hall. There was no way Izumi would have been able to chase after him, not with one of the tallest men he had ever seen holding him by his shoulders.

"Come on. I'll take you to the waiting room." The giant Doctor said.

* * *

Three hours.

Three long, lonely, terrifying hours that went by so slowly that it felt more like twelve hours, and Izumi had yet to move. Two Nurses and the giant Doctor had come to check on him, but he didn't even aknowledge that they were there.

What did catch his attention though, was the first Doctor he had seen when he entered the Hospital- And he look drained. Izumi ran over to him, the worry and hope in his Brown eyes was obvious.

"I'm sorry." The Doctor stated, it killed him him having to tell the young man that his lover had just died.

"No..."

"The bleeding on his brain had started again. We tried to stop it, but it was just too much."

"No..." Izumi was shaking his head. "No! He's not... He's not dead! Takamiya... He's not dead!" Izumi crashed to the floor and onto his knees, sobbing.

Takamiya Katsura, thirty-eight-years-old, died at approximately 4:27AM (2) June 18th 2006 (3).

* * *

The Coffin was made out of a dark wood and lined with Red Silk- Only the best would do for Takamiya in Reiji's mind.

The funeral was being held four days after Takamiya's passing. Izumi hadn't said a word to anyone since that heart breaking day at the Hospital; not even a word to mother. This is why Reiji decided that he should be the one to plan his best friend's funeral, informing Izumi on every detail.

There was only a small group of people at Takamiya's funeral: Izumi, of course, and his parents- His mother, because she loved Takamiya and his father, in support of his son. Reiji and Kiichi were there, as well as Haruomi and Kashima was the last of them. They were all standing around the Coffin, with the priest positioned at the front.

"I have been asked if I would read out a poem for our fallen friend." Priest. Ito Shunji spoke softly, and began reading.

"He had achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;

Who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children.;

Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

Who has left the world better than he found it;

Who has looked for the best in others and given the best he had;

Whose life was an inspiration

Whose memory is a benediction."

It was silence that met the moving poem. Every word described exactly how Takamiya was: He laughed often and loved much. He always looked for the best in people, people like Izumi, and he gave his best to everything. Takamiya was an inspiration. He was blessing and he will be missed.

After the poem, the coffin was lowered. Izumi felt his heart shatter as he watched his lover being taken from him. Six Lilies were thrown onto of the coffin- One for every person. Izumi was the last to thrown a Flower down. A Red Rose. Takamiya's favourite.

* * *

Pulling up in one of the dirtiest streets in Tokyo; Reiji, Kiichi and Haruomi all stepped out of Reiji slick Black car and casually walked into one of the Tower Flats.

Flat number 5 was their target.

Kicking the door through, the three of them walked into the dirty small flat. "Tanaka Yuu." Reiji raised his voice, but did not shout.

A man, Tanaka Yuu, walked through the door at the end of the room sporting no shoes, torn Jeans and a filthy _White _Vest-Top. "Who the fuck are you?"

"You don't need to worry about who I am. But you, Tanaka, are the fool who caused the accident in Ibaraki five days ago. And, by the looks of you, you got off with just wrecking your Truck." By the way Reiji was speaking, you would say he was a Robot with no emotion.

"Yeah.. I remember.. Man, I was luck. I mean, I miss my Truck but I still got my life.. I guess I have a few too many that morning." Tanaka laughed.

"You shouldn't be laughing. I won't go into detail about the man who you crashed into- You don't deserve to know." Reiji took out his phone and processed to call someone. "Now" was all he said.

"Good bye, Tanaka. Say hello to Aoe Shougo when you get to Hell, for me." As the Aoe brothers and Haruomi turned to leave, five men walked into the small little flat. They were all wearing Black Suits and had darkened-lense Sun-Glaases on, and one of them nodded to Reiji.

(1) Stupid, I know. But, Izumi is kind-of like a Cannon- When his temper goes off, it's like BANG! Like a Cannon.

(2) Now, even I was getting confused. Izumi arrived at the Hospital at about nine, and sleep till about one, and Takamiya dies at about four.

(3) TakaIzu have been going out for ten years, so because Volume.1 was published in 1996, I've just gone by that date.


	2. It Always Rains

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my cruel imagination *cries* *Imagination laughs*

Inspiration: Determination to get this done and completed. And Nason Schoeffler added me on FaceBook.  
Music: Senses Fail – The Fire (Album)

"Well... He just caught a cold, really. I would say he's very lucky he didn't get Hypothermia." Kiichi said, taking the thermometer out of Izumi's mouth. "He'll be okay in about week. Just give him plenty of Water, and keep him."

Reiji sighed heavily. "Idiot."

_Flashback_

_After leaving Tanaka Yuu with five men that Reiji knew quite well and trusted to do the job he had given them, Kiichi and Haruomi took the second car that the men had brought with them on request. They said their farewells to Reiji who was starting his own car's engine. _

'What a day.' _Reiji thought as he drove back in the direction he had came from, and back to the cemetery. Pulling up by the tall gates, and stepping out of the car, the Rain hit him hard. _'Why does it always seem to rain during funeral days. Just like Shiki's.' _He's eyes darkened. Walking through the grass, in direction of Takamiya's burial site, it may have been dark- But he saw it. _

_The shadow on a body laying, crumpled, on the floor._

_Speeding up his pace, he reached the body. Breathing out, he thought, _'Idiot'.

_Putting his hand on the boy's cheek, "He's so cold." Reiji put one arm under Izumi's knees, and the other under Izumi's arms, and lifted him._ 'He eats a lot, but he is quite light.' _Thinking this, Reiji looked at Takamiya's headstone._

Takamiya Katsura

April 12th 1968– June 18th 2006

A Son

A Nephew

A Friend

A Lover

We will miss you

"_I will miss you, my dear friend."_ _Reiji said, a sad smile dawned his face._

_End flashback_

"Watch him, Kiichi. I have to get going. I have some work to do at B&B." Reiji grabbed his Suit Jacket, and left.

* * *

Slowly blowing the smoke out of his mouth, Reiji pressed the end of the Cigarette into the Ash-Tray, grabbed the packet and lit another one.

_'It's a wonder I haven't gotten Cancer yet.. forty to sixty a day isn't good, even I know that...' _Reiji scoffed. Standing up, Reiji went over towards one of the walls- Where four pictures hung.

The first picture was of himself and Naoya from five years ago. Naoya's 21st was nearing. Kiichi took the picture without telling Reiji, and as angry with his brother as he was, he was secretly pleased that he was given a copy of the picture.

The second picture was of himself, Naoya, Takamiya and Izumi. The photo was taken just before they left to go to the New Year's Eve festival. They were all wearing Kimono's. Reiji was wearing a plan Dark Blue one. Naoya, whose body was facing Reiji's, was wearing a Light Blue one. Takamiya was also wearing a Dark Blue one, but it was decorated with Yellow Stars. And Izumi, who was being lent on by Takamiya, was wearing a Light Purple one.

And the third picture was the two Aoe brothers. As much as he could hate his older brother sometimes, they were _still _brothers, and Reiji did love him... Sometimes.

The last photo that hung on Reiji's office wall- Was of him, Takamiya and Shiki. The picture was taken during Reiji's birthday (1). "How young do I look... Heh... Those two were the ones that caused me to get wrinkles so young... They were both so care-free..." _'I bet Shiki had a drink waiting for Takamiya.. That's just like Shiki...' _Speaking of a drink, I think I need..."

After pouring himself a very large Whisky, he remembered, "What a fucking idiot..." Izumi was lying in his bed, with a cold. "Was he trying to..." Reiji frowned. "I suppose I can't blame him." _Naoya... He was an idiot, collapsing in the shower (2), giving himself a fever... Well, at least I handled it better the second time he became ill (3). Oh well... It's only a week I have to put up with the kid..." _"Kid... I stopped calling him that once I finally saw that he loved Takamiya, and that it wasn't just convenient for him to have someone take care of him. He really did love you, didn't he Takamiya..." Turning around him his chair, he looked out of the full-length windows, and raised his Glass. "Kanpai, my friend." And Reiji downed the whole glass.

* * *

At 8:12AM, Reiji closed the front door behind him, praying that Kiichi had gone home some time during the night.

"Reiji!"

_'Shit!'_

"Izumi woke up during the night with a high fever, but it seems to have gone down now. I was about to make him some breakfast, but you're here now, so you can do it. I need to get back, and have a couple of hour sleep, I also have to work you know..." Kiichi opened the front door, and just before closing it, he shouted: "And be nice to him!"

Sighing, Reiji walked into the bed, surprised to actually find Izumi awake and sitting. "I'll make you some breakfast."

And that how it went on for entire eight days Izumi was staying there. Reiji leaving for work at night, coming back to make Izumi breakfast and dinner, then leaving for work again. The only conversation that was happening, was Reiji mentioning what he was going to make Izumi something for breakfast and dinner, he didn't even get a thank you. Not that he minded, but he understood why Izumi wasn't saying anything.

* * *

Reiji was sitting at the dining table. He had just gotten back from work, and he just prepared Izumi's breakfast when the young boy had walked out of the bedroom, wearing the Black Suit he had worn for Takamiya's funeral- Which meant he was ready to go home. "Sit down, and have your breakfast before you leave, Izumi." _'There's no way he's leaving here until he's eaten something.'_

Izumi didn't put up a fight. He just sat down, and to eat the Pancakes that Reiji had cooked for him. "Would you like me to drive you home?" Reiji asked while drinking a very strong, Black Coffee.

Izumi only shook his eat, and continued to eat his Pancakes.

Once he was done eating, he put his dirty plate into the sink, and walked over to Reiji.

Putting his Coffee Cup down, and looking up to the younger man, Reiji wasn't quite sure what he was doing.

"..." Izumi was so nervous, he wasn't even sure he could get it out. "... … … Tha-... Thank you..." He then bolted for the front door and shut with a SLAM!

Reiji could only stare in the direction of the door. "Strange child."

* * *

Opening the front door, the Brown-haired young man was met with nothing. No lights. No laughter. No "I've missed you, Izumi. Let's have rampant sex on the Sofa." Just... Nothing.

"I guess... I'll just have to get used to it." He looked like he was about to burst into tears.

* * *

Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg...

The phone had been doing that for the last hour and a half. Izumi knew who it was. His mother, who had left countless messages asking him to either pick up the phone, or call back- She was worried about him. The last time she had seen or heard from her son was Takamiya's funeral, and that was four weeks ago.

'_Stop ringing! Please! Stop!' _Izumi was sitting on the floor in the kitchen, the furthest room from where the phone was. And it did.

Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg...

But, started again.

Nearly falling as he got up, and walked towards the phone. Izumi grabbed the annoying invention and threw it onto the floor, watching it break into several pieces- And shall never ring again. Looking over to the clock that hung over Takamiya's desk, Izumi decided it time to try and get some sleep. After all, being up at 3:01 was never good for your health. So; dragging his feet into the bedroom, and flopping onto the bed, which has looked increasingly larger in the passed four weeks, Izumi closed his eyes and planned to get more than three hours sleep- Which, he had been getting every night since Takamiya died. Except for that one night, when he got four hours sleep.

_The water was running from the Kitchen tap, in fact, it was over-flowing. The entire Kitchen floor was covered in water, and the Hallway carpet was soaking it up like sponge. _

_Izumi, who was wearing Light Blue long-sleeved Pyjamas, wandered in the Kitchen and found Takamiya was only wearing Jeans._

"_Ta-"_

"_Izumi," Takamiya stared at the young boy, his eyes were filly Black, "The worst mistake of Takamiya Katsura's life. That's your title. That is what people will know you as. Why did such a gentleman like Takamiya choose to be with this boy that isn't even gay, that doesn't love him? And their right, why did I choose to be with you? I could have had anyone I wanted, male or female, regardless of me being homosexual. What a waste of ten years, aye Izumi?" Takamiya looked back to the counter he was standing next to, lifting his right hand, he grabbed a large Knife our of the holder. "You were such an annoying brat. Always complaining. Oh well, at least now, I won't have to her your irritating voice when you moan that you're 'not gay'". Smiling at Izumi, Takamiya held the sharp Knife to his throat and slid it along._

_Izumi was shocked. The man that he loved had said the most horrid things to him, and now... He was cutting him own throat. The joyful, care-free man was committing suicide. Izumi could only watch as the blood poured down Takamiya's topless chest. His body would not move. Not even when Takamiya's own body fell to the floor._

The room was dark, the sunlight trying to peck through the curtains had no hope of brightening up his household.

Izumi was panting, trying to catch his breath. His ears were wet where the tears from his sleep had slid down.

He didn't need to grab any clothes, he had fallen asleep in yesterday's attire, Izumi remembered to grab the key and left.

* * *

11.34AM. "Fucking Hell." Reiji threw his jacket onto the sofa and headed straight for the Kitchen, and straight for the Whisky and poured himself a large one. Not that it stayed in the glass for more then a minute. He then poured another.

Leaning back on the sofa, took a large sip from the Glass. "Why are B&B clients so fucking demanding and rude? They get what they ask for, why complain that-"

BANG!BANG! BANG! "Reiji!"

"What now?" When Reiji opened the door, it was a wonder that he didn't fall back with the force that Izumi had _tackled _him with. _'Fucking great...'_

Once Reiji had gotten Izumi onto the sofa, and had managed to calm the younger male down, he asked what was wrong.

"I... Hic, was dreaming and Ta... Takamiya said that he hated him and I was a waste of, hic... Of his time and he..." Izumi's eyes were darker then they had ever been lately, "Killed himself.. Cut his throat." And he started to cry again.

Reiji, whose hand was on Izumi shoulder, felt he needed to do more. So, to his own surprise, Reiji pulled Izumi into to the most awkward of hugs. "Don't..." he sighed, "You know Takamiya loved you, and would do anything for you. Just look at him when he was trying to win you and your love over. I know it was ten years ago, but I'm sure you remember." Izumi nodded his head. "Don't let some silly dream make you think that Takamiya didn't love you, because you and I both know he did." Reiji, who had forgotten about his shitty clients, started to stroke Izumi's Brown hair. And he did so, until Izumi fell asleep. Reiji looked down at Izumi's face, and noted the tear-streaks down the sides of his cheeks. "Naoya..." Shaking the thought from his head; Reiji carefully moved himself away from Izumi, putting his jacket over Izumi like a Blanket, Reiji grabbed his keys and headed to the door. _'Poor kid.'_

(1) Taken from Volume.11

(2) Taken from Volume.4

(3) Taken from Volume.10


	3. To Feel Bitter Again

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my cruel imagination *cries* *Imagination laughs*

Inspiration: Derek Jones added me on FaceBook.  
Music: Three Days Grace – One-X

A/N: I had to do a lot of research for this chapter.. I hope that it makes sense..

A/N Two: Sorry, but you may have to wait a little while for Chapter Four.. College is a turning into a nightmare right now..

3.45PM

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

"What the Hell!" Reiji shouted. After just walking into his apartment, he didn't need to met with the Smoke Alarm going off. Smoke coming out of a Cooking Pan that had God knows what in. And Izumi, who had his knees pulled against him and his hands over his ears.

Grabbing a Tea-Towel, reiji fanned it near the Smoke Alarm to make it stop. Turning the cooker off, Reiji slowly walked over to Izumi and put his hands on the the boy's own. "Izumi, listen. It was just the Smoke Alarm." Reiji's voice seemed soothing, even to him.

"I'm sorry." Izumi cried.

"It's fine." Reiji moved his hand away, taking Izumi's own hands with him. "I... Don't mind that you set my house on fire. Look at him," And so he did. "If you are hungry, I can make you something. Just go, sit down. I'll bring you a glass of water. Unless you would prefer something stronger."

"Just water please..." Izumi's voice was quiet. Izumi then got up, did as Reiji told him to, and waited for his glass of water.

Half an hour later, Izumi's meal was ready.

They both sat in silence as they ate their meal. Izumi was the first one to finish.

"Uhm... Reiji..." The older man looked up. "May... May I have more... Please?"

_'He looks so nervous.' _"Of course, you may." Reiji got the boy his second serving of Beef and Vegetable Stir-Fry.

"Izumi, I'm going to ask you something. So, listen." Izumi stopped eating his third serving, and just looked at it. "What have you eaten in the passed three weeks?"

Izumi started to shuffle the food on his plate, in all honestly, he hadn't eaten anything since he left Reiji's after a week of being ill. But, he really didn't want Reiji to find that out.

"You idiot." Reiji rubbed his forehead, he felt a very painful headache coming on. "Don't you know you need to eat? You'll wither away." Izumi didn't say a word. "From now on, you come here to have your dinner, at least. I expect to see you here everyday."

"What? No..." He wanted to protest, but he really didn't have the energy to. "I'm fine. I'll be okay feeding myself"

The headache had now started. "Listen to me, if I do not see you here every day for as long as I tell you to come, I will find you. Not that it's going to difficult. And when I do get a hold of you, I will force-feed you a meal for every day you do not come here and eat what I cook for you. Do you understand me?"

Giving a slight pout, Izumi nodded and finished the rest of meal.

* * *

The rain poured, crashing onto the pavement so loudly that Reiji could hear it even from his apartment. It was also getting late. 8:58. Okay, so it may not have been that late for a twenty-six-year-old to walk home, but Reiji didn't care.

"You're staying here tonight." And before Izumi could protest about this as well, Reiji quickly added. "It's pissing down outside, and I really don't want to take care of you while you're ill again. You can go home tomorrow, I'll even take you. For tonight you sleep on the..." Reiji's headache just worsened. "You can sleep on the sofa. I'll get you a blanket." Getting a blanket for Izumi, Reiji told the younger man that they would be sorting a few things out for Izumi tomorrow, before Reiji goes to work. Saying goodnight, Reiji made his way to the bedroom, being followed by King.

Shutting the door behind him and lighting a Cigarette, Reiji got comfortable on his bed, and was quickly accompanied by King- Who laid on Reiji's lap.

"Naoya..." The smoke come out of his mouth as he said it.

_Flashback_

_Walking into the bedroom quite, Reiji stripped himself of his shoes and shirt, and got into the bed next to a sleeping, naked Naoya. Cuddling up to the Red-head, Naoya stirred a little and pressed himself against Reiji._

_The sun was shining into the room, which ended up making Naoya get out of bed after fifteen minutes of trying to ignore the bright light. Blindly grabbed a pair of his own Boxers, Naoya made his way out of the bedroom, and followed the smell of something nice cooking. _

"_Good morning, Naoya." _

'Reiji seems happy. Nothing must have happened at the Club last night.' _Naoya smiled. "Good morning. What time did you get in last night? I never heard you." He asked, going up to Reiji and kissing him, huffing in his head at that fact that Reiji was already dressed for work tonight._

"_That's because I was quiet when I came in, because I knew you would be asleep. As for what time I got in, it was about four o'clock. Now go and sit down." Reiji kissed him back, before gently pushing him towards the chair._

_Pancakes and Fruit was always a favourite with Naoya._

_

* * *

_

"_Ah..." Naoya moaned as he was bending down to pick up King._

_Reiji looked over at the twenty-three-year-old, "Your back again?" He asked, worriedly._

"_Yeah.. It's fine , though." Naoya sweated. "I must have just slept awkwardly."_

"_Really.." Reiji wasn't going to buy that crap. "So, you've slept awkwardly for the past three weeks." He wasn't stupid. "I'll give Kiichi a call tonight, when I'm at work. I'll get him to come and see you tomorrow. I'll make sure he's here before I get back." Reiji walked over to Naoya, picked up King and handed him to the younger man, kissing him on the head. "Go read or something. It'll be fine."_

_Later that night..._

"_Yeah, he's been really bad. He couldn't even bend down to pick up King today. It hurts him when he wakes up. When he's being too active. It seems to stop hurting him for a little while when he's in the bath." Reiji spoke down the phone to his brother._

"_Well, I can't give a diagnosis until I've seen him. So, I'm not going to say it's something, because I don't want to be wrong. Because, Reiji, it could be a number of things. It could even be related to the accident he was in when he was thirteen. I'm not going to know until I've seen Naoya. So, I'll be round tomorrow morning. Let's say eight-thirty. I love you, dear brother." Kiichi grinned._

"_Yeah. Bye." After putting the phone down, both the Aoe brother sighed._

* * *

_The next morning, Kiichi arrived right on the dot. He hadn't woke Naoya up, though. He had been awake since seven- Something about he wanted to have a bath, and be all relaxed for when Kiichi arrived, because Doctors like to have a relaxed patient. Kiichi hoped that Naoay didn't see his confused expression._

_Reiji arrived home at five to eleven. And the site he was met with, was a not a good one._

_

* * *

_

"_What do you mean he has to go to the Hospital today for tests? Why kind of tests?" Reiji yelled._

"_Will you keep calm and your voice on a low volume. I didn't tell Naoya that he needs the assistance of a Hospital. Now." Kiichi pushed his glasses up. "What I said on the phone, about it could be something to with his accident, I may have been right."_

"_So? What type of tests would need at the Hospital then, if this happened ten-years ago. Wouldn't it have shown up earlier?"_

"_Not necessarily. Reiji, I would really appreciate it if we could get Naoya to the Hospital." Kiichi was getting anxious._

"_Why!" And Reiji was getting angry._

"_There's a lump." How blunt of Kiichi. "On Naoya's back, near his Coccyx. Where most of his pain is." Kiichi swallowed the lump in his throat. "Now, can we get him to the Hospital. We need to find out if the lump is benign or... Malignant."_

_Not saying a word, Reiji left his brother by himself and walked into the bedroom to find Naoya stroking King. "Naoya..." The boy looked up. "We need to go..." This time, Reiji had to swallow the lump in his throat. " We need to go to the Hospital. Now."_

* * *

_Because of Kiichi's role in the Hospital, Naoya was seen as soon as possible._

_Reiji was told he wasn't allowed in the room for safety reasons, but as Kiichi went to go in._

"_Dr. Aoe," Dr. Yamamota Saito called. "I really do not think it is right for you to be in that room, or being part of the team if that boy _does _need medical treatment."_

"_But, I am one of the best Doctor's on this site. I should be using my knowledge and putting all my years experience into helping him." Kiichi didn't normally get angry, but being told he shouldn't part of Naoya's case pissed him off._

"_You may have plenty of years experience, Dr. Aoe. But, you are also technically the boy's brother-in-law. You know a Doctor should not get involved with family matters which also concern the Hospital. Now please go to the waiting room, along with your brother." Dr. Yamamoto demanded, shutting the thick door behind him._

_An hour and a half later..._

_Dr. Yamamoto appeared in front of the Air Brothers, "Gentlemen, I need to speak with you. Come with me." And they followed the ageing Doctor into his office._

"_After running several tests on Shirakawa Naoya, I have concluded that the lump on his Coccyx was a Bone Tumour."_

_Reiji and Kiichi both frowned, and their eyes widened. "You can get rid of it, though..." Reiji questioned._

"_I'm afraid now." The Doctor spoke sorrowfully. "You see, many patients do not know they even have a Bone Tumour, some don't even know for years. Most of these tumours are benign, but there is the occasional few who end up suffering from malignant tumours. Such a Naoya." The doctor stopped speaking for a minute, just to let things settle in _both _Reiji's and Kiichi's heads._

"_You can do something about it, though. Right! Chemotherapy or something!" Reiji wasn't intentionally being aggressive, but who could blame him?_

"_Malignant tumours happen in at least seven different types. Patients with types such as Ewing's Sarcoma respond very well to Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. Patients with types such as Chondrosarcoma do not respond so well. And with Naoya, he comes into the small category of patients who have malignant tumours. Now, normally, we could try and do something if the tumour has not spread. But, with Naoya, there is nothing we can do but wait. The cancer has already started to spread up his back, and to his kidneys. He is one of the unlucky ones that deteriorates at a fast pace. He may look mostly healthy today, but next week, he could look drastically different. He will start to look ill." The Doctor stood up. "I have placed Naoya in a private room, in the Intensive Care Unit. He would be awake, I imagine."_

_Reiji and Kiichi made their way numbly towards Naoya's room. The Doctor was right, the Red-head was awake._

_And looked worried. He was holding the clip-board that usually hung at the end of the bed._

"_Reiji!" Naoya's worry came through in his voice. Though he wanted to get up and run to Reiji, he wasn't a stupid boy. He didn't want to pull out the wire that was in his right hand._

_Reiji put his hand on the side of his little lover's head. "Kiichi, would you mind leaving for now. I need to have a chat with Naoya. I know you would be able to explain it better, but..."_

"_It's okay," Kiichi put his hand on his brother's shoulder, "I understand." Moving closer to Naoya, Kiichi kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Try to not be scared. I love you." And Kiichi then left._

_

* * *

_

_One week later..._

"_I'm sorry, Reiji. Kiichi." Dr. Yamamoto said, "But, I need to say that I don't think Naoya has much longer to go in his life. I would give him two... Maybe three weeks at most. Make the most of your time."_

_During the last week, Reiji hadn't been to work. He hadn't even been home; Kiichi had to pack some clothes for his brother and take them to the Hospital. Reiji didn't want to leave Naoya's side- he was scared. He was scared to even wash in the connected bathroom while Naoya was sleep- From the bathroom, Reiji couldn't see Naoya's chest move up and down. Kiichi also had to bring him food. _

_The Doctor had been right about Naoya- he did look ill. He was much skinnier then he used to be, even when he was fifteen. Naoya was on three different type of pain-relief, which wasn't helping his lack of muscle or fat. Naoya Shirakawa was wasting away._

* * *

"_Reiji..." Naoya said breathlessly. "Pain.. It hurts.." He was crying. _

_Reiji, who was sitting on the bed, stroked Naoya's tears away. What could he say? That he would make it all go away?- He knew a way the pain would stop, but... That was the last thing he ever wanted, even before got ill. Not even the Aoe's billions of Yen could find a cure. "Naoya..." He was struggling to speak himself. _"Men are not supposed to cry" his father always said, "That is why Kiichi always cries," he would laugh. _But,Reiji had been crying. Everyday since they found out. He always cried whenever Naoya was asleep. During one of his crying sessions; he came to the conclusion that his father was wrong. It wasn't the crying that made Reiji feel less like a man- it was the fact that he couldn't save his love from such a horrible disease. "I know it hurts..." Reiji kissed his forehead. "I love you," and then kissed his lips._

"_I love you too, Reiji." Naoya smiled, which made Reiji's heart break and he began crying into Naoya's neck._

_It was a couple of days later..._

_That Naoya died..._

_And all Reiji could say was "At least it doesn't hurt any more."_

_

* * *

_

_Naoya's funeral was held two days after._

_Reiji made sure everything was perfect from the Coffin, which was dark wood and lined with Purple Silk, to the Flowers, which were Orange Roses- The same Orange as Naoya's hair._

_The guests, though it wasn't really a _privilege_, were Kiichi and Haruomi and Takamiya with Izumi. Reiji didn't want anything big._

_Naoya's funeral was short and bitter-sweet._

_Shirakawa Naoya_

_December 25th 1980 – March 23rd 2003_

_Cherished Son_

_Loyal Brother_

_Respected Love_

_Rest In Peace, Naoya_


	4. D & C

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my cruel imagination *cries* *Imagination laughs*

Inspiration: Miyavi gig 19.3.2011  
Music: Rise Against – Endgame (Album)

A/N: Sorry it took so long.. I kinda got a bit blocked and busy.. I've not just abandoned it.. There's also a sad little spoiler if you haven't read the manga..

"Good afternoon. Rika's Bakery. How many I help you?" A young woman asked over the phone.

"My name is Aoe Reiji. I understand that Sakashita Izumi is one of your employee's and hasn't been at work, nor been in touch to explain why." Without giving the girl a chance to speak, Reiji continued. "Several weeks ago, Izumi's partner was in a terrible accident that ended up to be the death of him. Izumi hasn't even been able to speak to his parents since it happened. I'm sorry it took so long to inform you. I trust that Izumi will still have a place at your bakery for when he's ready to start working again."

"Oh, of course Mr. Aoe. Send my wishes to Izumi for me. Thank you. Bye"

"You didn't have-" The younger man was cut-off

"Hello. I would like to transfer the money from Takamiya Katsura's account into Sakashita Izumi's. The password is Shiki. Thank you."

If looks could kill, Reiji would be unconscious on the floor. "So now you think I won't be able to live without Takamiya's money."

"I don't think that at all." Reiji was adjusting his watch. "It was Takamiya's wish that if he did die before you, that all of his money would be yours. _He _just wanted to make sure you can feed and clothe yourself. And that you have heating and running water. Don't blame me for his worrying nature."

"So, what? You think that I can't look after myself. Why don't I just a Dog so you don't always have to be here, protecting me. Yeah... I'll get myself a nice, big Dog with Takamiya's money. An Akita... Or, a Samoyed maybe." Izumi put a finger on his cheek to indicate that he was thinking.

Reiji humped, "That'll be the day. You can't even feed yourself at the minute, or even leave these four walls. How are you going to take care of a Dog?" Now annoyed by Izumi's stupidity, Reiji slammed the door on his way out.

* * *

In the now lonely apartment, again, Izumi wandered into Takamiya's study. He had been spending a lot of time in there since he came back from Reiji's house the day after his nightmare. Something about being in that particular room made the nightmare feel less real- Which was a comfort to the Brown-haired young man. Even reading the books that Takamiya enjoyed gave him comfort.

"What book today?" Izumi asked himself, scanning mindlessly through the towers of books that Takamiya had accumulated throughout his years. "This one..." Izumi reached up, barely managing to hold onto the bottom of the book's spine.

Izumi looked at the cover- A Dog and a Cat were sitting next to each other, with the letters D & C above them. _'The first time I read... Takamiya fell asleep (1). Was my voice that boring?' _Izumi pessimistically thought as he walked over to the two-seater sofa that was underneath the window.

Izumi got comfortable, his butt on one cushion and both his feet on the other. And he started reading. He knew this story off by heart, only because it was one of Takamiya's favourites- Izumi never understood why though. And when he asked Takamiya, his answer was merely "Because it's a cute little story in which love prevails," and it would end with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

Izumi wasn't even reading the story, he was just looking at the words, and occasionally sighed. Before turning to the next page, he stopped. Something had hit his chest.

An envelop.

Resting the book down on the floor, Izumi started to have a closer inspection of the magically appearing envelop.

It being sealed, was the first thing that he noticed.

The second thing he noticed was the date written across the middle of it- April 28th 1996 (2).

Izumi frowned, and scrunched his nose up. _'How comes I've never found this before?' _"I've picked up this book too many times.. Why have I only just found it?" He was confused.

Sighing, Izumi slipped his finger into the envelop and dragged it along, making the paper rip jaggedly. Pulling out the folded paper, he opened it up- And Izumi's heart dropped.

_Shiki,_

_He said yes! My little Izumi agreed to spent Golden Week with me. I'm going to make this Golden Week the best week he has ever experienced. _

_Reiji is concerned for me, Shiki. Izumi is too young, he keeps saying; he's just a petulant child. As the honest (3)man that I know Reiji is, I know he's just looking out for my well-being. But... I can't help but feel that he could be right._

_I know it was wrong of me to become attracted to a sixteen-year-old boy. A child. His mother's baby. I'm not trying to take him away, I swear. But... Is it wrong of me to want happiness for myself? Should I be trying to find someone my own age? I would be considered more "normal" then... Now with Izumi; I could be shunned for paedophilia._

"Did he really feel like that? All those times when I called him a pervert..." Izumi's grip tightened on the paper. "I must have made him feel even worse. He risked going to prison to be with me, and I treated him so badly. I'm so sorry, Takamiya... I must have made you feel like shit and you still didn't give up. You could have dropped me whenever you wanted... Whenever you couldn't be bothered with my whining and complaining any more. Takamiya, you could have had anyone in the world, yet you..." Tears fell from Izumi's shining eyes. "You wanted me."

_But; I love him, Shiki. Just as you loved Reiji. I would do anything for him. He could ask for anything in the world, and I would make sure he got it. You lost your life just to spend one more night with Reiji. _

_I would risk my life for Izumi. Because I feel the same about him as you did about Reiji._

_Takamiya Katsura._

(1) See Volume.8

(2) The last Sunday of the month in 1996 was the 28th... And Takamiya asked Izumi to go on the Sunday and they would be there on Wednesday..

(3) By honest, Takamiya meant blunt.. But, he is a nice man after all..


	5. Sakura Matsuri

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my cruel imagination *cries* *Imagination laughs* **

**A/N: Sorry it's taking so long! Brain was just dead.. I know it's been like; a year and a half. I would have felt awful if I only gave you 720 words. It's also my birthday today! I think it was a present from some unknown being, me being able to finish this chapter.**

**Chapter Five: Sakura Matsuri**

A year and ten months after Takamiya's death.

"No! I told you a hundred times now! I don't want to go out! Just leave me alone!" Izumi shouted more. "Just get out, Reiji..." Izumi, now at the age of twenty-eight; cried, falling to the floor with the wall as his guide. "Please..." The younger man sobbed. "Just leave me alone."

**xxxxxx**

"Reiji, you cannot let that boy continue like that. It's not healthy for him." Kiichi lectured his younger brother, but the worry was still in his voice. "He's twenty-eight. He should be going out, working or having a social life. I know he's still grieving for Katsura, but he needs to understand that he cannot become separated from the outside wor-"

"Don't you think I know that!?" The younger brother didn't mean to raise his voice, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew that Izumi was falling further into his isolated routine. "For the past year; _I _have seen him, been around him. _I _am the one who tries to get some sort of reaction out of him, and all that I get is him telling me not to bother about him, that he doesn't want my help. Now, instead of wasting your time telling me to do what I have been doing for the past twenty-two months; think of something new!"

Frowning at Reiji's out-burst; an essential question came to mind.

"Why do you care so much about him and his well-being, brother?"

"What?"

"I said; 'why do you care so much about him and his well-being, _brother_?'" His tone more sharp.

"Hmph. Why do you ask such a ridiculous question..." Reiji spat. "I'm caring for him as a favour to Takamiya. He cared for that kid too much, but he was also loved backed just as much. I would feel guilty, like I've let Takamiya down, if I didn't ensure that Izumi was in good health. I know he would do the same for me if the situation was between him and Naoya." His voice was colder then it had been several minutes ago.

Not happy with his brother's change in tone, Kiichi was just about to ask his brother to leave when-

"Why don't you invite Izumi to the Sakura Festival?" Haruomi suggested, over-hearing the conversation.

"That is an excellent idea!" A big grin appearing on the Doctor's face. "Reiji will invite him tomorrow. And, you don't need to worry about his attire; I will have it all sorted out for him even before he's accepted the offer."

"Kiichi." The annoyance in his voice was blatant, "I really don't think Izumi will be up to going out to a Festival, being surrounded my hundreds of people, and all of the noise."

"That is exactly what the boy needs; socialization... He needs to feel comfortable in the outside world again, and this is perfect."

"It is a bad idea, and you know it." Now very pissed off; Reiji left.

**xxxxxx**

The festival had quietened down. Most of the parents had left with their young children, and the slightly older teenagers would soon be leaving also. The crowds had died down; there was now room to move without having to push or bump into somebody.

"Do you still miss him, as much as you did when he died?" Izumi asked the older man, standing on the wooden dock that stood an inch up from the water and was around seven-foot long, as he looked up at the Red Balloon he had just sent off to Takamiya.

"Everyday. Everyday it still hurts. You'll never get over something like that; you just learn to live with it." The elder of the two replied, releasing his own red balloon up to Naoya.

"What about Shiki?"

"He-" Reiji was cut-off by the sound of his brother demanding Izumi to try a slice of cake that was flavoured with Watermelon.

Watching the younger man walk away with his brother, Reiji deemed it appropriate not to tell Izumi his thoughts on the last question.

_'I still miss Shiki everyday, as I do Naoya. But, he was different, he was my first real love. I got to move on and find someone else that I could love and care for; my true love. Just because I found somebody else once, doesn't mean it's going to happen a second time. When Shiki died; I was sleeping with any girl that wanted it. I can't even do that now.'_

**xxxxxx**

Much to Izumi's displeasure, Reiji drove him home, non-chalantly mentioning he wanted to ask Izumi something that couldn't wait until morning apparently. When they arrived back to the apartment, Izumi didn't bother inviting Reiji in, or even telling him to leave. He was too tired to be getting worked up, and crying himself to sleep. Slipping off his Geta sandals by the front door, Izumi headed towards his bedroom, not bothering to shut the door after him.

Assuming Izumi is getting changed, Reiji moved from the entrance and into the kitchen to dispose of the ash from his cigarette. Four cigarettes later, the Aoe became curious as to what Izumi was doing. It didn't take that long to throw on some old clothes. Reiji wandered over to the bedroom, expecting to get "Why are you still here?" yelled at him. What he didn't except was Izumi lying in on the middle of the made bed - He always had the feeling Izumi slept on the sofa most of the time. He was so used to sharing a bed, it was probably hard for him to sleep in a king-sized bed alone - his legs hanging off the edge. The midnight blue Obi had come loose, and the cerulean blue Yukata had slide from Izumi's right shoulder. His eyes were closed and covered by his hair, but he wasn't sleeping.

"Izumi." He spoken quietly, as not to alarm the younger male, but he didn't get a reponse.

"Izumi." Reiji said a bit louder, but there was no agitation in his voice, it was more.. concern that laced his voice when he spoke. With his right arm resting inside the opening of his own Yukata, Reiji took slow steps until he reached the foot of the bed, standing next to Izumi's slender legs.

"Izumi, are you-" Reiji began to asked, but was cut off by a whispered voice.

"You don't need to stand there. You can sit down, you know."

_'Well, that's a first. Normally he's telling me to fuck off, get out and leave him alone.' _Reiji chucked to himself as he took a sit on the unmade bed, leaving about twelve inches between himself and Izumi. "Izu-" He was cut-off again.

"... you."

"What? Speak louder." He didn't mean for that to sound harsh.

"Thank you!" He said louder, as requested, pushing himself up until he was sitting, leaning closer to Reiji. "I said 'Thank you'! Thank you, Reiji, for helping... me..." Izumi mumbled the last part while lowering his head, trying to hide his face as his eyes glistened over with tears. He didn't want to cry. Reiji just took him out. Got him out from the four walls he called his house – It wasn't a home any more. Not without Takamiya. Got him to go to a very public event... Even helped Izumi start to enjoy himself a little. That was nothing to cry about!

Reiji studied the younger male and, in spite of himself, most of his attention went on Izumi's exposed shoulder and more-so on the tanned collar-bone and the dark nipple a few inches below. Growling, Reiji turned his head away. He wasn't supposed to be thinking... looking... at things like that any more. Especially not where his best friend's former lover was concerned.

"It's nearly Golden Week." Reiji brought up suddenly. "I'll be going to the summer house again, for another client party. You're welcome to come if you wish. I won't force you to socialize with those who work for me, or those who pay for the services I provide. It's just a week away from here. I won't be there for the whole week though, so I won't be able to keep an eye on you. But, it's up to you how long you want to stay. You can stay there until Golden Week is over, or I could bring you back with me. It's completely up to you."

"I'm not a kid, you know. I can keep an eye on myself." Izumi retorted back.

"We both know that isn't true." The business owner answered back without pausing. Sighing, Reiji stood up and headed for the front door. "Look, you don't need to decide right now. There is still a couple of weeks until Golden Week. But, please let me know as soon as you decide so that I can make the arrangements."

"Just... think about it." Reiji said, ready to open the front door. "I know it's hard for you, Izumi, but you need to start moving on with your life. You're still young, you can't live for another forty... fifty years sitting in this house, sulking and ignoring the world around you. I'm trying to help you, but you need to put in the effort to help yourself even more."

"R-Reiji... I've thought about it... What I want to do..." Izumi responded nervously. He had pulled his Yukata back onto his shoulder, but was still gripping the fabric.

"Which is?"

"I... I would like to go with you. If that's still okay?" Izumi looked up, into the deep Brown eyes of the man in front of him. It was like he was looking for some sort of trust or hope to cling on to.

Reiji placed his hand on Izumi's shoulder. Reiji had to stop himself from pulling the Sakashita closer to him and into his arms. "Of course it's still okay. I'll let you know the details when they are finalized." Opening the door, Reiji turned back to Izumi before he left. "It's late. Be sure to lock the door before you go to sleep. Goodnight, Izumi."

"Uh.. oh, yes! Good-goodnight, Reiji... Thank you, again."

"Make sure you eat in the morning, as well." He purposefully ignored Izumi's gratefulness. He didn't need to say "thank you", Reiji didn't mind trying to help Izumi through his depression.

It's what Takamiya would have wanted... Right?


End file.
